Kill List (2011)

Lead Neil Maskell is family man Jay, struggling through a rapidly fracturing marriage to his wife, Shel (Buring,) while also trying to provide a decent upbringing for their young son. With Jay having been out of work for a number of months since returning, emotionally scarred and physically affected, from the military, the family is flat broke so he takes up a job brought to him by best friend Gal (Smiley). Seems that these two also have a history working on the side as contract killers, and to save his home life, Jay has no option but to accept Gal’s latest lucrative offer.
Kill list in hand, the pair set about offing their prey – but things are nowhere near as they seem. Uncovering a child porn ring in the process of taking out one of the designated targets threatens to throw Jay off the rails as he swears, and enacts, brutal retribution on those involved. Strangely, those lined up for execution have only two words to say to Jay once staring down the barrel of his gun: "Thank you."
Approaching the final target (a well known Member of Parliament), Jay discovers that his actions have been as a pawn within a much more insidious scheme and is unwittingly drawn into a maniacal circle of ritualistic murder and mayhem that may just involve people closer to him than he ever would have imagined.


Marvelously acted across the board (especially Smiley as Gal), Kill List is an impeccably crafted thriller that takes a sharp, and startling, detour into horror territory. Wheatley’s pacing is spot on, and he deftly shifts styles from early social realist drama to threatening mystery through to violent thriller and a final metamorphosis to survival horror. His direction is tight and confident, generating some very proficient scares during the claustrophobic shriek-fest of a climax. Kill List also contains some of the most vicious and brutal violence seen in a film this year. When Jay begins meting justice to those involved in the uncovered child abuse, the results can be very nasty. One particular scene involving an incapacitated man and a claw hammer will stay with you for a very long time.
Where Kill List fails, however, is the script. While the old friend relationship dynamic between Jay and Gal is instantly believable and delivered with precision by the players, Jay’s tendency for violence and intimidating behaviour seems a little too selective. He’s drawn as an extremely volatile individual, handled by Gal like one might handle a glass of nitroglycerin, and yet we’re supposed to believe that in the midst of his many, many destructive rows at home (and undoubtedly further afield), he has never lashed out to strike the worst choice of person, including his wife and child.
Similarly, while the film is steeped in mystery and thus highly engaging, it’s catastrophically disappointing that literally zero answers as to the machinations of Jay’s forced journey are given. Of course, as intelligent audiences we don’t need every single thing explained for us, but when characters are secretly scrawling arcane symbols in hidden corners of Jay’s home and the entire affair reeks of some clandestine predetermination, it’s criminal not to offer even surreptitious clues as to the point behind it all.
Still, Kill List remains a strikingly violent success. As thrilling as it is horrifying, and absorbing as it can be frustrating, it’s dramatic, weighty and gripping stuff. Keep your expectations in check, don’t expect too many answers, and you should find Jay’s journey to hell a suitably impressive one.
StudioCanal bring Kill List into UK homes in fine style with a Blu-ray transfer that’s solid, crisp and clean. It isn’t a particularly textured experience and very rarely demonstrates the visual “pop” of the kind offered by some of the best hi-def material, but it can’t be faulted for what it does bring to the table. On the audio side of things, the DTS HD Master Audio track provided here is similarly clean, with plenty of isolated audio in the mix across a meticulously channelled soundstage, while the bass drones of the film’s soundtrack are likely to have your home shaking at the very foundations.
Moving on to the special features here, we have a slightly disappointing “Making of” which consists mainly of random on-set footage containing only a few glimpses of interest. A selection of short interviews follow, featuring director Ben Wheatley, actors Neil Maskell and Myanna Buring, and producers Claire Jones and Andrew Starke. They’re pretty predictable with the most interesting takes actually garnered from producers Jones and Starke – it’s pretty rare to get the producers’ takes amongst extra materials, and their opinions on the film and getting it made are both insightful and humorous.
The star pieces of the show here, however, are the two independent commentary tracks. Director Wheatley and writer Amy Jump take us through the film first, with Wheatley proving to be just as bad as the rest of us when it comes to picking movies apart. His tongue in cheek approach to his own work makes this track a highly enjoyable and entertaining accompaniment to Kill List. Unfortunately, those out there looking for some answers are likely to be left feeling extremely unfulfilled, as Wheatley himself also appears to have no idea just what exactly is going on. Indeed, the biggest belly laugh found here is likely his summation at the film’s closing – "And that’s what happens... when you’re a bit of a cock."
Coming out of the first commentary, you’re likely to be thinking that it’s a hard one to follow. Well, principal cast members Maskell, Smiley and Buring are on hand to give it a run for its money with a track that’s consistently engaging and an absolute hoot to listen to. Smiley just can’t keep himself from saying something funny or inappropriate at every turn, and the three of them get on like old friends at a get-together. This one just flows effortlessly, and when they aren’t revealing interesting details behind the making of the film (including details of alternate/deleted scenes that would have been nice to see alongside the current special features,) they’re making fun of themselves, each other or the film itself with the best possible humour. Seriously -- this release sports two of the best commentary tracks heard all year and is absolutely essential for fans of the film. Those who aren’t too enamoured with commentary tracks, though, are likely to find the remaining special features distinctly underwhelming.

Snowmageddon (2011)

I called bullshit on Snowmageddon the very first time the kid laid hands on the supernatural snow globe at the center of this non-pocalypse. Ever owned a snow globe? Ever held a snow globe? What’s the very first thing you do upon picking up a snow globe? You shake it up real good, right? Not this kid. Nope. He handles it with the reverence of an antique clock. I can suspend my disbelief to accept that a magical snow globe can trigger natural disasters few of which actually have anything to do with ice or snow. No way in hell I can believe a kid holding a snow globe will resist the urge to shake it up something fierce.
Snowmageddon features plenty of snow but not that much “mageddon”. I’ll go so far as to say this is one of the least “mageddon” movies I’ve ever seen. An earthquake, an avalanche, a giant hailstorm, pointy rocks shooting up from the ground, and very little gets destroyed and hardly anyone dies. If you’re going to make a movie bold enough to play off the word “Armageddon”, you had better be prepared to make it feel like some sort of Armageddon is taking place. The Asylum’s 2012: Ice Age was more deserving of being called Snowmageddon. That film didn’t even have “mageddon” in its title and still delivered more far, far, far more “mageddon”.


Over half this movie centers around the aftermath of the first few snow globe triggered disasters. Two injured snowboarders are trapped on a mountain. A mother and daughter are also trapped in the wintery wild after their helicopter crashes. Two more injured men are trapped inside a bus fearing electrocution from a power pole downed during a hail strike. I clocked about 75 minutes of TV time before it ever really felt like any forward momentum in the story was achieved.
The snow globe contains an exact replica of this small Alaskan community that should have been named “Dullsville”, and some localized natural disasters occur whenever buttons on it are activated. The kid who received the supernatural snow globe appeared to spend more time playing a fantasy board game with no magical powers than he did messing with the object at the center of the story; playing the game eventually helps him figure out how to put a stop to the snow globe’s chain reaction countdown to total destruction of some kind. In fact, so much more time seemed devoted to this kid messing with the board game than the snow globe I found myself wondering why they didn’t just make it about a supernatural board game instead.
The non-explanation behind this snow globe is so preposterously vague the producers may as well have re-titled the movie Macguffingeddon.
It really felt to me like they came up with the "Twilight Zone"-ish premise of a mystical snow globe that causes natural disasters in a town that has suddenly been mysteriously cut off from the rest of the world and then were clueless where to go from there or how to even entertainingly bullshit their way through it. Okay, that’s not a completely fair statement. A movie called Snowmageddon ends with a volcano so clearly there was some major league bullshitting going on.
Flatfooted action, glacial pacing, phoned in performances, and a premise that nobody seemed to put much thought into. Some Syfy movies are at the very least enjoyably bad. This certainly isn’t one of those. It’s inoffensively lame, but damn is it lame – and boring.
Snowmageddon? More like Snoremageddon?

Final Destination 5 Blu-Ray

After the ridiculousness of the fourth Final Destination flick, The Final Destination, I, like many of you, was done with the franchise. Wanna talk about a coffin nail for a series? Look no further. The odds of a franchise rebound seemed nil. It's a good thing for us the folks behind Final Destination 5 had other plans.
The set-up for the flick is exactly what you've come to expect... Several people cheat death by adhering to the warnings of some poor soul who has just experienced one hell of a grisly premonition. Of course the reaper doesn't like to be cheated so one-by-one they're taken out in the most delightfully violent ways imaginable. In a nutshell that's it, but don't sell this one short. Final Destination 5 is so much more!


Simply put, what we have here is a spectacle. The opening disaster on a suspension bridge is HUGE, horrifying, and breathtaking in every way possible. This is easily the best opening since the incredible car crash of Part 2. Then there are the kills themselves. Each one goes above and beyond the call of ghastly. The lead-ups to a few of them are near impossible to watch. If I were teaching a class on how to build tension in a film, I'd easily use a few scenes from this flick as fine examples. Beyond all the amazing set pieces we also have probably one of the smartest sequel scripts of the last ten years from writer Eric Heisserer that's riddle with twists, turns, and plenty of things that you just won't see coming. This flick is a truly unexpected winner.
Final Destination 5 is available in three home video packages: a Blu-ray/DVD combo, stand-alone Blu-ray, and stand-alone DVD. The only thing missing? A 3D version of the film for those of you out there who can support the medium at home. That's a shame, too, because director Steven Quale (unlike David R. Ellis) truly understands how to utilize those extra dimensions to perfection without being distracting. Oh well. Maybe in the future.
If you're wondering which package to get, while the DVD looks as good as can be, the Blu-ray (as per usual) kicks major ass in the sight and sound department. Every gruesome detail is on display with razor sharp clarity. Skin tones and colors are spot on, the black levels are deep, and there are no distracting artifacts to sway your eyes from all this goodness on display. The DTS-HD 5.1 master audio track will keep your home theatre set-up thumping as the provided soundscape, especially during the opening, sucks you right in. Really, really good stuff.
The only place this otherwise stunning package comes up a bit short is in the supplemental department. First up there's your standard making-of featurette,Circle of Death, which you had better watch the film before viewing as it's jam-packed with spoilers. From there we have two looks at key sequences in the film that show footage from before and after the visual effects were added in. Finally we get two alternate death sequences - the massage and the eye laser - which were thankfully punched up for the final cut of the film.
Final Destination 5 defies every odd that was placed against it. It's way better than anyone could have imagined and stands right next to Final Destination 2 as the best in the franchise. Death truly moves in mysterious ways, and we'll never count the reaper out ... ever again.
Special Features

Circle of Death featurette

Alternate death scenes

Visual Effects of Death: Collapsing Bridge footage

Visual Effects of Death: Airplane Crash footage

Scream 4 (2011)

After Wes Craven's abomination My Soul to Take, I wasn't sure that Scre4m would cut it for me. However, the film surprised me, and it definitely redeemed Craven's slip up with My Soul to Take. Scream 4 is the best entry in the franchise since the first film. Many people have said so, and I myself agree. 12 years has past since the release of Scream 3, lots has changed in the horror landscape. Studios are obsessed with remaking timeless horror classics. Luckily, Scre4m manages to be a breath of fresh in terms of a horror film and Slasher film. Using the same rules that have applied to every Scream film before such as the use of horror clichés in a creative manner to elevate a films plot are present. Scre4m is a perfect final to an entertaining series.


The series itself reestablished horror into public consciousness and made horror fun again. Scre4m is a wonderful fourth film in the series, and it is the best since the first film. The cast do a wonderful job, and it's great to see some of the original cast here.
The kill scenes are effective and intense. One thing that surprised me was how much Neve Campbell, Courtney Cox and David Arquette have changed over the years, however they were able to reprise their roles, as if nothing has changed. Scre4m is a fine installment and is a must see for Scream fans. After 12 years since the third part, it's great to see that there was still enough creativity left to craft a fourth film in this flawed but enjoyable series. This fourth entry is a solid and impressive film, and it exceeded my expectations. While the second, I felt was the weakest one, and the third was an improvement, this film reinvents the rules, and stays true to the original while using current elements of the genre (remakes) to create a whole new set of rules. A pleasant surprise and my favorite since the first. Welcome back Wes!

Nosferatu, a Symphony of Horror (1922)

The first, and arguably the scariest, adaptation of the Bram Stoker novel Dracula. The Stoker estate sued to get this film stopped, so some names and minor plot points were changed, as well as moving the action from England to Germany. But otherwise, it's the same story. The main difference between the film and most of the adaptations that follow is Max Schreck as the vampire. He is not debonair or seductive or even tuxedo-clad. No, he is tall and skeletal, more rat than human. The scene where he is standing in the hallway and walking towards the camera into the doorway spooks me every time, as does the shot of his face peering through the boards of his dilapidated casket in the basement of his home.. Yes, it moves slow at times, but some interesting effects and camera work along whith Schreck's performance still make this one of the classic horror movies of all time for me.

The Thing (2011)

In 1982 John Carpenter remade (or just made a more faithful adaptation of the original story depending on your point of view) Howard Hawk's film "The Thing From Another World". Howard Hawks film was a decent B-sci-fi film, but Carpenters was fantastic. Now the film industry today learned that "remake" is a dirty word...people don't like em! So they've created and used every other word they can think up to avoid using the term "remake" yet keep making them. The word they chose this time was "prequel". Don't let them fool you...this is only a prequel in the flimsiest of senses...its a damn remake. Why? Plots the same, a lot of the plot points are recycled, and visual it bears resemblance to Carpenter's fantastic film. Yes there are certain aspects that are lead into the 1982 film, but the title and everything else just lead me to calling this exactly what it is: a REMAKE. Beyond being a remake though, it is also a mundane film. Carpenter's was a master work of the ensemble cast. It has like 11 or 12 characters yet most got development and I understood who everyone was. I could barely remember the name of the main character five minutes out of the theater (it eventually dawned on me that it was Kate). The characters are grossly underdeveloped. Add onto that the suspense, tension, and paranoia that ruled Carpenter's film is all lacking. The movie just wasn't as much fun or as entertaining as Carpenter's film, and if I'm being honest: even Howard Hawks film. The thing while there was plenty of mystery about the Norwegian outpost at the beginning (and throughout) the 1982 film, the truth is it doesn't matter what happened...you can guess it was similar to what happened to the US outpost. And this movie showed that it was almost EXACTLY the same.

Carrie (1976)

Carrie might be a film about high school, but it wasperhaps Brian De Palma's first completely mature film, at least equaling thenearly-concurrent release Obsession in gothic pathos. Based on StephenKing's first novel, famously written in near-poverty as the future bestsellingmogul tried to make ends meet by teaching English to high school kids, Carrieturns a fairly contemptuous source text (in the book, Carrie is nearly as unappealingas her tormentors) into, as Pauline Kael said, a "teasing, lyricalthriller." It brought both De Palma and King into mainstream visibility,kick-started the careers of nearly everyone involved (or, in Piper Laurie'scase, provided an unexpected return to form playing horror cinema's ultimatemom from hell), won two acting Oscar nominations and earned fantastic reviewsand word-of-mouth. Surely this represents De Palma's first great selling out,right?

Absolutely not. Carrie, a profoundly sad horror comedy about adumped-on, telekinetic outcast whose late-blooming menstrual cycle and sexualmaturation react violently with her fundamentalist mother's psychologicalchastity belt, is the film in which De Palma discovered that his destructivesense of humor could be synthesized with his graceful visual sensibilities in amanner that would accentuate both. The linearity of King's storyline (actually,the linearity of screenwriter Lawrence D. Cohen's version of King's novel,which was told via a fussy collage of news articles, testimony, and Reader'sDigest memoirs) has the preordained momentum of Greek mythology; some ofthe shots of a pig blood-soaked Carrie standing above her peers at the fatefulprom were lifted from the theatrical performance De Palma shot of Dionysus.
But De Palma's technique reaches a new volatility here. Half Phantom ofthe Paradise, half Obsession, Carrie is hysterical inevery sense of the word. Laurie said while filming that she took the entirefilm to be a satire, even claiming it was difficult for her to film herperverse death scene—being pinned to a doorway by flying knives until sheresembles the Christ-as-pincushion shrine she keeps in Carrie's punishmentcloset—without busting out in laughter. She later admitted to beingdisappointed that the film wasn't inherently a comedy, not realizing it was.Maybe the comedy isn't always as broad as Mrs. White heaving and moaning inecstasy as her daughter gives her the vaguely homo-incestuous gift of martyrdom,but it's always there, and usually bittersweet.
The scene in which Carrie realizes she likes Tommy Ross, for instance. DePalma begins by showing Carrie sitting in class with pencil eagerly poised totranscribe Tommy's poem as their tweedy teacher reads it aloud to the class.The camera swirls around to show the entire class slacking, yawning, exchangingjocular smirks to indicate they know the poem's true author was Tommy'sgirlfriend Sue. Tommy ends up in severe close up while a split diopter shotputs Carrie in the background behind Tommy's impressive blond mane. "It'sbeautiful," she murmers, her hair like bundled hay in front of her face.Even the teacher piles on, sensing the emotional vulnerability as anopportunity to attain camaraderie with his indifferent students. "Yousuck," Tommy says, even more covertly than Carrie, before the teacher'srequest for a repeat begets the response "I said 'aw shucks.'"Tommy's chiseled features melt into a triumphant cackle. A perfectly realizedscene in the midst of a hundred (many of which have little to do with thehorror of mind-controlled fire and everything to do with the horror of teenageresponsibility), Tommy's social triumph under the wire stands in mockery ofCarrie's inability to do the same. And when Tommy silently demands "What'sthat?!" in slow motion after the bucket tumbles down on Carrie, thefulfillment of that disparity comes to pass and the resulting inferno must becarried out.
Whether intimate or flamboyant, Carrie's style is insistently sensual:Carrie running her finger along the definition of "telekinesis" insuper close up, Miss Collins's gym class doing detention calisthenics to theaccompaniment of a blaxploitation-esque "Baby Elephant Walk," Carrieand Tommy swirling in rapture courtesy De Palma's Tilt-O-Whirl cam, PinoDonaggio's tempestuous chamber music leading up to the bucket drop, Carrieseeing red in kaleidoscope as her sanity burns. It's as passionate, erotic andclumsy as the descriptor "sensual" implies. Maybe because it's the firstDe Palma film that it could be said belongs decisively to women. (Those Oscarnominations don't lie, and it's a shame both Spacek and Laurie lost to thevirgin and whore in Network's boys club.) The would-berevealingly-titled Sisters may seem a volley between MargotKidder, Jennifer Salt, and an insane woman with her can of Lysol, but all threeare tamed and controlled by Kidder's effete creep husband. Carrie, onthe other hand, is frighteningly feminine, a slap in the face of those chargingDe Palma with misogyny as fierce as the one Betty Buckley whales across NancyAllen's face.

Suspiria (1977)

The original ad campaign boasted that the only thing more terrifying than the last five minutes of SUSPIRIA were the first 90. Actually, it's the first 15 minutes that contain some of the most frightening footage ever committed to celluloid, but why quibble.
American dance student Susy Banyon (Jessica Harper) arrives too late at night to gain admittance to her new school, Tanz Academy, but before returning to town, Susy witnesses a hysterical student, Pat (Eva Axen), fleeing the grounds in terror. By the time Susy begins classes the next day, Pat hasbeen brutally murdered, although the academy, under the watchful eyes of administrator Madame Blank (Joan Bennett), fearsome dance instructor Miss Tanner (Alida Valli), and the school's directress, who never appears in public, insists she was expelled. Pat's death is just the first in a string ofbizarre occurrences at the school that include a mysterious maggot infestation, phantom breathing, and several more gruesome murders.
Unlike many of the films it has inspired, Dario Argento's SUSPIRIA has lost little of its hallucinatory power over the years. Although anyone with an ounce of common sense would have checked out of Tanz Academy tout de suite, the film floats by on its own eerie logic, unfolding like a nightmareinto which the viewer is dragged kicking and screaming. Not since James Whale's expressionist masterworks (1932's THE OLD DARK HOUSE and 1935's THE BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN) has a fright film boasted such impressive art direction and scenic design: the Tanz Academy might have been created by Erte forballetomane descendants of the Marquis de Sade. Throughout this nerve-wracking journey, Argento's sly gift is to strike when you least expect it, often when the soundtrack grows silent, and always after you've expected the knife blade to plunge in earlier.

The Skin I Live In (2011)

The Skin I Live In could have been a wonderful movie, taking us on a journey of destruction via a modern Dr. Frankenstein, doing "God's Work" in his own mind; but it suffers from some serious overacting problems from a few characters, most notably Zeca (Roberto Álamo), whose acting style is oddly reminiscent of a hyper dog. His entire segment could have been cut if not for the emotional turn it takes Vera and Dr. Ledgard on, propelling us into the second half of the movie, wherein we learn of the doctor's losses and his own depravity.
Which brings us to the pacing of the film. The first 40 minutes play out in a linear fashion; we follow along and feel like we are going somewhere. There is genetic mutation, illegal experimentation, abduction, rape and even a death. However, The Skin I Live In comes to a sudden screeching halt as we get 10 minutes of flashback and then flashback-flashback to six years earlier, which I admit I was lost on for several minutes because I missed the subtitle telling me...six years earlier.
The movie then plays out the next 40 minutes catching us up, finishing the story of Dr. Ledgard losing his wife and daughter and revealing Vera's story, which again suffers from some weak acting and awkward pacing. Not to mention that at this point the medical experimentation and the modified skin lose their focus as we move into character drama territory.
That being said, the second half is where the real "horror" comes in. While you might not see it as horror at the time, it's in the days and weeks afterward as you think about the situation (which I won't spoil) and what Vera goes through, putting yourself in her place, when the fear elements come into place. It plays out a touch predictably, but it becomes a curiosity which you must view to its conclusion.
The two halves of this movie are essentially their own stories and could have played out as such, but in this non-linear, extended flashback way, it becomes disjointed and removes all character development. We aren't going on a journey with these characters; we're just being shown vignettes. The ending comes fast and abruptly with an unsatisfying and ambiguous postscript that borders on groan-inducing.
Banderas and Anaya do as good of a job as they can with a script that does them no favors, and I might go so far as to say it's the most intense and watchable I've found Banderas since Desperado. In the end, though, it doesn't matter; The Skin I Live In has no real message and very little symbolism to actually stand behind with a story that depends on the viewer to process and fill in the blanks. I'd have to say skip it.

A Horrible Way to Die (2011)

Sweet, soused Sarah (Amy Seimetz) is a serial killer magnet. There's her ex Garrick (AJ Bowen) who's behind bars, and then there's creepy fellow AA frequenter Kevin (Joe Swanberg) who wants to be next in line for Sarah's misplaced affections. Between these two men, Sarah floats between the past and her possible future. When the two collide, Sarah becomes a plot twist pawn in a reasonably inventive fashion.
A Horrible Way To Die could be renamed A Horrible Way To Watch, and I'd die happy. This movie is one of the shakiest, shrillest, most headache inducing features I've had to sit through in quite some time — and as someone who's been resentfully enduring this seemingly never-ending trend for years now, that is saying a lot. For no apparent reason (no "found footage" conceit here), the camera bobs and weaves, focus fades in and out, while zooms zip and shudder from smooth to choppy. Music is dissonant, at best. I believe the aim was for a classic Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer bleakness, but all that's achieved is sluggish blankness.
Fortunately, A Horrible Way To Die has a decent script and good actors going for it. As per usual, AJ Bowen is the standout amongst his costars. As per unusual, he actually has more than just a few minutes onscreen. He's not exactly the lead (I guess that'd be Seimetz) but Garrick has an actual arc and we get to see what Bowen can do with more than just few memorable moments.

Paranormal Activity 3 (2011)

This camcorder-horror series has a pedigree almost as strange as its central premise: the life-long haunting of sisters Katie (Katie Featherstone) and Kristi (Sprague Grayden).
Part one scared Steven Spielberg so much he wrapped his copy in a bin bag to keep the evil inside. Part two played out concurrently, with various cast crossovers, neatly streamlining the concept. This origins-exploring threequel, meanwhile, was made by the “documentarians” behind Catfish, who have more than a passing acquaintance with the tricksy truth/fiction divide.


Rewinding back to 1988, the film recounts the childhood traumas of young Katie (Chloe Csengery) and Kristi (Jessica Tyler Brown). Kristi has an imaginary friend (uh-oh), while mum Julie (Lauren Bittner) and stepdad Dennis (Christopher Nicholas Smith) hear noises in the night.
A wedding cameraman by trade, Dennis decides to document what happens next on (suspiciously nice-looking) VHS cameras. He mounts one of these on a fan so it pans across the room, revealing and concealing with robotic regularity.
It’s a great little gimmick, capturing that corner-of-the-eye sensation of being watched, and the film is the best-shot – if the least scary – of the series.
Although there’s a sense of (wholly appropriate) déjà-vu, watching people sleep waiting for something unspeakable to happen remains an unnerving experience. Let alone watching people watching people sleep.
Retrofitted in this way, with the girls’ stepdad as obsessive a documentarian as their future partners, you sometimes get the feeling that it’s the camera, rather than anything supernatural, that’s really haunting them.
Dennis means well (and he’s far less irritating than part one’s Micah), but besides a couple of blood-freezing spook sequences and an ill-fitting ending, he’s still a man spying on his own family.
Whether cameraman or chimera, isn’t it time everyone left these poor girls in peace?

11-11-11 (2011)

Director Darren Lynn Bousman takes on a much written about phenomenon. For those who have stayed astute to numerology and the upcoming date of 11.11.11., already well know that there have been documented cases of persons who are seemingly haunted or obsessed with the reoccurrence of double digit numbers. More notably and the primary focal of the numbers is the set 11:11.


In this latest film which seems to take its marketing serious by debuting on the “actual” 11.11.11 date, this very study is explored to a mass of cinema goers. So while it is indeed a movie, the data that is used is actually centered around the phenomena itself.
Timothy Gibbs plays Joseph Crone, a much heralded author who has gained a following of dedicated readers over the years. His works have become best sellers which sell in the millions. Though he has been struggling as of late with writing a follow up novel. This struggle seems to be connected with his insomnia and strange knack for awakening to a clock sporting an 11:11 time display on a pretty consistent basis. This particular number set has also shown up in various points through-out his life usually on tragic or dramatic events. We learn that his wife an child were killed in a fire that an over passionate fan had caused in relation to one of his books. Joseph is called to the side of his dying father in his last days as well to his childhood home. It is here that he reacquaints his relationship with his younger brother Samuel (Michael Landes).
Samuel is a priest who has spent the better portion of his life honoring God and trying to build up his church following. Joseph, the darker atheist of the bunch doesn’t give much thought to religion or what his family has built up over the years. Though while he is making amends within his family he begins to open up to some of its possibilities. During his stay his frequency in seeing this 11:11 sign increases taking him on a journey of research to really discover why this is happening. He finds that the 11:11 number is in fact a sign or event of that which seems to be escalating into “something”. The term “Midwayers” is introduced and the eerie reoccurring appearance of these in-between beings becomes more frequent.

Much of this idea and the myths about it are built up over the course of the film which also seems to get increasingly haunting in the process. Joseph is later joined by an acquaintance he made back home by the name of Sadie (Wendy Glenn) who also helps him into understanding his purpose and reason for being “initiated”
In all this is a pretty good film that offers some worthy scares along the way. The subject matter is of the deeper sort which takes an excellent stab at what has been written “today” on the concept. I will say that the ending was the payoff for me which you’ll just have to discover on your own viewing. Though the relationship between numerology and religion is a complicated and often times dark area that deserves more investigation.

The clincher here is that the actual event itself is also occurring on the movie debut date making for a rather unsettling backdrop of wonder. 11.11.11 is a bit of a slow grind at first but stays with the format of a more classical directing approach. Most folks will expect one thing over the other but while 11:11 is a standalone concept it does make a worthy  attempt at marrying it to religion and the things we don’t understand. If the subject itself is at all of interest, I would point you in the direction of the book 11:11 The Time Prompt Phenomenon by Marie D. Jones and Larry Flaxman. You’ll find some great connections in this read that explain what has occurred so far in relation to the phenomena. 11.11.11 is a powerful film that succeeds in capturing the essence of 11:11 and does so while provide a pretty entertaining foundation.

Trancers (1984)

The straight-to-video revolution began in earnest during the '80s––those halcyon days of lukewarm Crazy Bread and 1 a.m. VHS rentals from Uncle Pete's Video Suppository––and producer/writer/director Charles Band was bayonet-forward, leading the charge. In 1983 he formed Empire International Pictures, a modest but ambitious production house that specialized in low-budget genre titles with high entertainment value. In 1989, Band abandoned the struggling studio to form Full Moon Entertainment, but in that brief 6-year period, Empire International Pictures managed to crank out a handful of now-classic titles like Ghoulies, Re-Animator, From Beyond, Dolls, and Intruder.
1985's Trancers is also a member of this Empire International class of over-achievers, a fondly-remembered slice of B-movie cheese that somehow, some way, manages to remain giddily entertaining after all these years. A growly, Neanderthal-browed Tim Thomerson plays Jack Deth, an Angel City police detective who lives in a future that looks a lot like Blade Runner as set-designed by an 8th grade drama class. His arch nemesis, Whistler, is a steely-eyed cult leader who can transform the weak-minded into “trancers”, grunting zombie-like creatures in bad make-up. When Whistler time-travels back to 1985 Los Angeles to trance some bitches in a cheaper-to-film decade, Jack Deth is forced to pursue him. Jack's “core consciousness” is sent into the body an ancestor living in '85, a poofy-haired journalist who has just wrapped up a one-night stand with an adorably young Helen Hunt. After smearing his hair back with a wad of hand lotion (“Dry hair's for squids”), Jack divulges his time-travel agenda to Hunt, who is skeptical only until a shopping mall Santa gets all trancer up in Jack's business with what are presumably a set of reindeer horns. Once Jack takes the trancer Santa down, Hunt has fully drunk the Kool-Aid and is ready to have Deth's babies.

Several highly awkward make-out scenes follow (the almost 30-year age difference between Thomerson and Hunt is a glaring––and hilarious––distraction), but eventually, the duo refocuses on the mission at hand: getting that nefarious Whistler dude. Armed with a revolver, a magical time-slowing watch, and a bevy of sarcastic one-liners, Jack Deth gets down to business.

Trancers would eventually go on to spawn five straight-to-video sequels, and it's easy to see why. There's a blissful obliviousness to the entire production, like a retarded kid who doesn't know he's retarded. From its ridiculous synth score to its sloppy editing to its seemingly endless array of B-movie surprises (“Honda scooter chase!…Boom mic in the frame!”), Trancers is a movie that desperately wants to entertain you at any cost necessary…as long as that cost isn't monetary. It's a slice of history caught in amber, from a time when B-movie filmmakers tried to please their audience above all else. Unlike the studios of today, Empire International didn't make intentionally shitty movies knowing they could break even on production costs after a stellar marketing campaign. Their intent was to make movies that entertained the widest possible audience. And if the film found an audience, the profits would eventually follow. That undoubtedly resulted in some dumb movies. But also a hell of a lot of dumb fun.

The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) (2011)

*Spoiler Warning

There's nothing I hate more than a mean-spirited horror movie with the pure intent to shock. In my book, films in that vein score an immediate 0 skull rating. So what separates Tom Six's The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence) from pics like Chaos and Morituris? Not only is the movie ingenious, but it also shows us just how big Six's balls are. Centipede 2 is literally a big "f*ck you" to critics of the first Sequence, and once you understand this you'll also realize that his 12-person concoction is actually a comedy. Yes, a comedy (albeit it a sick one).
Six's flick is an over-the-top and in-your-face splatterfest that spends an hour and half making one bold statement: Centipede 2 isn't real life; it's just a movie. Six is screaming at the top of his lungs that everyone is taking his sh*t way too seriously. It's simple art and nothing more. Stop over analyzing it.

The sequel has an absolutely brilliant opening as the footage from the end of First Sequence transitions into "real life" where Martin (Laurence R. Harvey) is watching the film at his job as a parking attendant/security guard. Martin's world is bleak, dark and hopeless; the audience is taken through a sad journey of his life as they learn of his former child abuse and watch as his mother verbally assaults him. He's mentally handicapped and his only outlet is his creepy obsession with Human Centipede (First Sequence, a brilliant meta device that strings together the gut-punching sequences.

Human Centipede 2 follows Martin as he collects his own human specimens and jots down the first film's "directions" for assembly (being that it was "100% medically accurate") While the first movie had sterile environments with precision cutting, the sequel pulls a complete 180 and takes the victims to a disgusting warehouse where Martin uses kitchen tools for his deviant plans. In a curve balls twist, Martin brings Ashlynn Yennie (who starred IN the 2009 film) to town for an audition for a new "Quentin Tarantino movie." Little does she know that this time around she'll become a human centipede for real…

Six uses this plot to drive his position home, almost to the point of beating a dead horse. He explains through actions (which I won't reveal) that, in real life, there are no happy endings. And he pushes everything in the flick too far, so much so that Human Centipede 2 intentionally becomes silly (a woman gives birth in her car and sacrifices her baby in order to escape Martin's grasp).

Don't get me wrong; it's a truly disturbing and disgusting film. But it's so insanely excessive that it's straight up funny. There's literally a scene where Martin gives all of the specimens laxatives, which pays off in a hilariously orchestrated muddy mess all over the warehouse. Six literally builds up the insanity in an obvious attempt to piss viewers off. You can just imagine him kicking dirt at the audience and screaming, "You thought that was offensive? Check THIS out. Go ahead and complain about THIS…"

Look, I completely understand everyone's hatred for Human Centipede 2. It's an extremely malicious film where Six spends the duration proving his point instead of telling an engaging story. But to his point, who gives a sh*t? It's art, it's his movie and it's his statement; at least he's actually saying something. He doesn't have to make a movie FOR you, nor does he owe it to anybody to do so.
Human Centipede 2 is a brilliant response to critics of his first film. It makes a strong statement that it's just a movie and that people take his work way too seriously, while also implementing a unique concept. I found it an intensely engaging and absolutely hilarious meta experience that gets its point across with flying colors (in black-and-white, nonetheless). Still, Six's screenplay does lack serious depth and is pretty f*cking mean-spirited. If anything, Human Centipede 2 beats a dead horse to no end – but at least that was Tom Six's intention.

The Orphan Killer (2011)

Marcus Miller is a bad man. I think we need to establish that fact before we go any further with this. If you take nothing else out of this review of The Orphan Killer, know this: Marcus Miller is a bad man.


For those of you unfamiliar with the name, Marcus Miller is The Orphan Killer (and just to clarify, he is a killer who was orphaned, not a killer of orphans...although throughout the film he didn't seem too fussy about whom he was filleting). Created by Matt Farnsworth, Miller is a killing machine hell-bent on finding, torturing and (eventually) killing his sister.
The Orphan Killer contains a lot of your typical slasher elements, but it does have some unique qualities that stand out. It's the story of a pair of siblings, Marcus and Audrey, who are orphaned after their parents are violently murdered in a home invasion. Audrey adapts well to the orphanage and is eventually adopted. Marcus does not and is left alone at the hands of the less-than-nurturing nuns running the home. As his sister goes off to greener pastures, Marcus, who already has a penchant for violence, has that ember stoked by regular beatings from his guardians, not to mention the fact he's forced to wear a mask as a form of punishment. Why don't they just put the butcher knife in his hand and give stabbing lessons? Silly nuns.
The adult Marcus Miller is played nicely by David Backus. I've never seen anyone swing an axe as hard, or with such bad intentions, as this new serial killer. Goddamn, he simply pulverizes his victims. Miller is a faceless murderer, the kind we've seen several times before, but conversely to some masked slashers of the past, he speaks. And it's the fact that he verbalizes his intentions and sufferings that makes his character that much more chilling, especially in the climactic scenes with his sweet sister.
The Orphan Killer creator/director Matt Farnsworth definitely had an agenda with this film. His goal was to create a character he could build a franchise around. And call me crazy, but I think he did that with Marcus Miller. The dude has a cool back-story, crazy eyes and serious bad intentions. His ire at the Catholic Church also leads to some visually intense (and marketable) images, not the least of which is Marcus' idea of how to combat pedophilia among the clergy. (Put it this way... it's hard to diddle anyone if you don't have hands. Get it?)
Now to keep ourselves grounded in reality here, The Orphan Killer does have its shortcomings. It is a low-budget offering and often looks like it. I would say Farnsworth did the best he could with what he had available to him. And it's certainly not a study in brilliant acting or intricate storytelling, but The Orphan Killer focuses on what it's good at - bloodletting. This isn't a Shakespearean drama, after all. This is a movie from a guy trying to create an iconic horror character. And whether Marcus Miller ever steps foot into another film or not is yet to be seen, but I think Farnsworth certainly did enough with this picture to warrant a crack at a sequel. And judging by The Orphan Killer's 100,000+ Facebook fans, he's doing something right.
Overall I think the characters stand out here more than the film as a whole. And that might not be a terrible thing. Marcus is a quality character, and his prime target, Audrey (played by the sexy Diane Foster), is certainly memorable as well. She's as feisty a victim as you'll find and proves to be a bit more of a challenge than big brother expected.
The bottom line on The Orphan Killer is this: You're getting a new slasher, one with a lot of similarities to some of our favorite characters of the past, but with its own unique spin. Know that at times the acting is somewhat lacking but serviceable, and the F/X range from questionable to brilliant, depending on the scene. There are some really cool practical effects here and some that fall short, but again, it works overall.
Take it for what it is, and you might just find yourself falling for The Orphan Killer. If you can get past some of the warts, you're going to find a couple of characters you can really get into. And did you say you wanted blood? I think AC/DC said it best: "If you want blood... you got it!"

Territories (2010)

SYNOPSIS:

Five friends return home from a marriage in Canada to the United States. Not far from the border, two customs officers stop them to check their identity.
REVIEW:
Director – Olivier Abbou
Starring – Roc LaFortune, Sean Devine, Nicole Leroux
Cripes, it’s not even safe to travel to Canada. What is this world coming to? “Territories” falls into the traveler as torture victim subgenre and actually does a pretty good job of making the viewer uncomfortable. These are the kind of films that are pretty good to see once but just a little too depressing to watch over and over.

What separates this one from the pack is that it tackles some hot button political issues to a degree but thankfully doesn’t do any real kind of preaching. For that I give the filmmakers credit. It’s in there if you want to talk about it after the movie is over, but as a straight up horror movie it stands well on its own.
The movie wastes no time in getting down and dirty. It starts with a car full of five friends, three men and two women, on their way back from a wedding. The road is more or less deserted and there are dense pockets of woods on either side.
Suddenly they see a road block of sorts with two customs / border police telling them to stop. They think they are being pulled over due to a broken headlight that happened when they hit a deer earlier in their trip. Boy are they wrong.
Sam, the main policeman, played very creepily by Roc LaFortune, asks them if they have anything to declare. Even after they repeatedly tell him no, he just keeps asking. On top of that he has a special interest in Jalil, who is the driver. Sam thinks that he might be a terrorist and isn’t about to give him any leeway.
The questioning continues and at times turns to the bizarre. To say things quickly deteriorate is putting it mildly. In no short order you have an animal death, human death and a sexual assault all in a matter of minutes. However you may feel about the rest of the movie this first scene, which is rather long, is very intense and honestly the best scene in the film. The tone and feel of the movie is set firmly in place and you realize right away there won’t be a remotely amusing moment in this entire film.

Which is perfectly okay. This is a type of film that is going to hit you over the head again and again. No subtle theme here. No real subplots, though it does try. The main fault of the film is that while intense, it doesn’t ever feel like it’s going anywhere.
With these types of films you always have the built in tension of wondering just who may, if any, survive. Unlike say your slasher films where you know that the heroine will kill the maniac killer, the torture genre isn’t bound by such rules. Depressing endings are very much possible and that is the main reason that these films are able to keep you glued to the screen. You can honestly say that you’re not sure if anyone is going to make it out of this alive.

Overall this is a movie that I would recommend to see once but only on rental. I really wouldn’t rate it a purchase. The performances are the main strength and are absolutely superb all the way around. The directing is very well done and Olivier Abbou does a great job of keeping you right in the middle of the action. There were a few moments of “shaky-cam” which seemed a little out of place.
The pacing is pretty quick and it helps that you are thrown into the situation right away. The downside is that towards the end it just loses steam. In a way it feels unfinished. For some the ending will be a disappointment. Me, I sort of liked it. But that’s the case with these kinds of films, they just aren’t for everyone.

The Exorcist 40th Anniversary Edition (Book)

True story. My mother did everything within her power to prevent me from watching The Exoricst when I was a little kid. She had never seen the film herself, but with all of that lasting controversy there was no way she was going to let me see the damn thing. In retrospect, it’s hard to blame her for not letting her ten year old son watch “the scariest movie ever made”, but she never stopped to think about the novel – which I’d successfully checked out of my local library and kept beneath my bed.
It’s been a long time since that summer of ’88 so, needless to say, my memory of William Peter Blatty’s novel wasn’t great. When the 40th Anniversary Edition landed on my doorstep, I was more than eager to revisit the book – curious and more than a little concerned with the author’s revisions for this celebratory version.
Blatty felt this was a long time coming, however, having never been able to do a “polish” on his manuscript before it was published in 1971. While making my way through the first few chapters, any doubts I might’ve had were quickly alleviated as I realized this is still very much “The Exorcist” that I remember reading twenty plus years ago. All of the character beats remain intact, the pacing is still as fast as ever and most of the additions appear to be little more than subtle tweaks to the prose here and there.
There is a brand new character inserted into the proceedings, but it’s much ado about nothing. It’s a mysterious Jesuit priest who appears to Father Karras in one spectacularly eerie dream sequence. Without spoiling anything for soon-to-be readers, we’re never sure of who exactly appears to Damien (friend or foe – most likely demon), but the end result of the sequence is very scary, unsettling stuff. A very welcome addition to the sustaining lore around “The Exorcist.”
Whatever the edition, there’s not a lot to say about “The Exorcist” that hasn’t already been said. This remains a thrilling, character-driven horror story that ranks up there with the best of them. I devoured this edition over the course of two sittings and couldn’t have enjoyed it any more. It’s a work that seems to have more resonance the older I get and I’m glad to have this new edition on my shelf. Highly recommended.

Eaters Rise of the Dead (UK DVD)

Mankind once again finds itself facing extinction via the influence of a hungry corpse-reanimating virus in Eaters: Rise of the Dead. A low budget Italian entry, Eaters introduces us to what would appear to be one of the final remaining outposts in a post-apocalyptic world ruled by roaming flesh-eaters. Spending their time drinking beer and lamenting the future of the human race due to the lack of women (who were not only the first to become infected by the virus but also rendered completely infertile) are protagonists Alen (Favilla) and Igor (Lucchesi). These two are partners in zombie hunting, kept under the employ of scientist Gyno (Marmugi), who regularly sends them on patrol to round up live (or undead, more accurately) specimens for his research into an antidote. Setting off on their latest expedition, the pair cross paths with an insane religious artist, a neo-Nazi gang with an axe to grind and a man purporting to be the self-titled “Plague Spreader” responsible for the apocalypse and his apparently healthy daughter; and they ultimately learn that the machinations of Gyno aren’t exactly in the best interests of the still-living.


If there’s anything that filmmakers Boni and Ristori certainly can’t be accused of, it’s lacking ambition. On a miniscule budget the pair chuck in a cavalcade of characters, crowd scenes, multiple action sequences and a hell of a lot of special effects. Visually, their own little apocalypse is well realised with crisp lensing and impressive, digitally enhanced landscapes. A muted and drained colour palette lends a stark and hopeless aura to the proceedings alongside the desolate sets, which appear to be mainly abandoned warehouses and facilities.
While it certainly looks good, Eaters does end up falling foul of its own story ambitions with so many seemingly random events thrown in that it struggles to maintain a solid narrative thread to pull it through each vignette. Due to this, it regularly feels disjointed and the pacing schizophrenic with the flick appearing to run out of steam multiple times before picking up again. Occasional editing misfires also serve to add to the clunky and meandering nature of some scenes.
Still, the endearing performances of the two main players manage to keep the viewer captive enough as their personalities are played off of one another in perfect balance and the mix of individuals that they encounter – especially the crazed artist and a rather disturbing looking midget Führer wannabe – is just quirky enough to work. Similarly, many zombie fans will likely remain attentive to the huge number of practical gore effects and gruesome zombie makeup. Dismembered corpses, burned bodies, disembowelment, nasty bites, heads split in half, squirting arterial spray and much, much more is the order of the day here with some seriously impressive prosthetic work. Digital effects are mainly saved for less intrusive landscaping, visual tweaking and some blood spray, but the less said about the CG muzzle flashes and explosions, the better.
Obviously inspired by George A. Romero’s indomitable classic Day of the Dead, Eaters manages to generate that same desolate, apocalyptic tone on its own terms but fails to muster the narrative strength that made Romero’s effort so striking. These failings at story level leave Eaters an ambitious and above average zombie romp, yet only particularly recommendable for resolute fans of this particular subgenre.
First up on the extras side of Chelsea Films’ release comes Supershock: The Making of Eaters, a roughly 35-minute documentary featuring input from the directors, special effects artists and principal cast accompanied by loads of on-set footage. There’s a large amount of insight here for aspiring indie/low budget filmmakers to take in as our directing duo pull no punches when it comes to the challenges of such an undertaking. Similarly, the lead cast members are frank, down to earth and very likable people. You can also find the directors’ opinions on the constant fan vitriol leveled at a certain Dr. Uwe Boll considering it was his influence, and promise of securing distribution, that resulted in Eaters even being made.
Next up is VFX Breakdown. As the title suggests, this is a montage of various shots from the flick in “before and after” format detailing just how big a role the use of visual effects played in realising the post-apocalyptic landscape. While the difference is striking and impressive, it would have been nicer had this sequence included a commentary with the directors or VFX artists, or simply been included in larger scope within the making-of piece. Finally, a trailer caps off the special features.

Special Features

Supershock: The Making of Eaters

VFX Breakdown

Trailer

The Eclipse (2010)

When a movie is introduced as "an atmospheric drama containing enough relationship and genre elements that it's seen as a potential crossover hit", we figure it's something we should at least mention to our readers to be on the lookout for. You know ... in case those genre elements elevate it to being a quality horror film that merits spending 85 or so minutes with. I'm sorry to say The Eclipse doesn't quite live up to that standard, but that doesn't mean it isn't worthwhile by other measures.



The film starts off slowly by showing the viewer just the things he or she needs to know with very little dialogue, but it gets to the spooks right away as we see that Michael (Hinds), a woodworking teacher who's lost his wife to illness and is raising their two children on his own, is haunted. Not, however, by his former spouse. Instead he sees visions of her father, a wheelchair-bound old man in a nursing home edging closer and closer to death. In the midst of this Michael crosses paths with two authors who are in town for the annual literary festival: arrogant but charming Nicholas (Quinn), whose latest book is being made into a movie, and Lena (Hjejle), who writes about ghosts and, coincidentally, has a bit of history with the married but philandering Nicholas.
Michael volunteers as a driver/errand runner for the fest and forms a bond with Lena while she simultaneously fends off Nicholas' drunken advances to rekindle the one-night stand they shared several months before. It's all much more soap opera than supernatural with an emphasis on drama over mystery, but the audience that sticks it out reaps the rewards of watching director McPherson flex his muscles bringing the source material to life.
The script he co-wrote with Billy Roche (who penned Tales from Rainwater Pond, on which The Eclipse is based) is intelligent and moving. We often say a project is "framed and filmed well" or "beautifully shot"; The Eclipse is all that and more. The cinematography and camera work are what the adjectives "top-notch" and "fluid" were invented for. The mood is intimate and intense one minute, sweeping and panoramic the next. Ireland's gorgeous scenery and creepy ruins are as much characters in the film as Michael, Nicholas, and Lena.
We also get some pretty excellent acting on all counts. Hinds is well deserving of the Best Actor award he won at last year's Tribeca Film Festival, where the film had its premiere. His grief is palpable and feels authentic. Hjejle shows she's still just as naturally talented as she was when she first caught our eye opposite John Cusack in High Fidelity -- has it really been ten years since then, and why isn't she in more films? Quinn plays the pompous ass so convincingly you can see why Lena almost bought into his bullshit.
There are a couple of unexpected -- some might say out of place -- jump scares thrown in for good measure and one or two scenes with visuals that can be called horrific, or at least more in the thriller vein than anything else, but overall The Eclipse is horror-related in theme only, not execution. Yes, everyone is very pensive, even Michael's young son and daughter, and Irish playwrights (of which McPherson is one of the most renowned) are known for incorporating subjects like ghosts and death into their works on a regular basis. Nonetheless, unless you're up for wading through a romantic triangle that devolves into a rather stereotypical physical confrontation just for the payoff of a few startling moments scattered about, steer clear of The Eclipse.

Hellraiser: Revelations (2011)

Well guys, I’ve just watched Hellraiser Revelations and to be honest, I struggled to get through this one. The film is by Victor Garcia and effects by the very talented Gary J Tunnicliffe who did the fantastic Hellraiser short ‘No More Souls’. Unfortunately you can not use the word fantastic in describing Hellraiser Revelations.One of the characters in the film said; “This doesn’t add up.”  and that basically sums up the entire flick. I wasn’t sure where Hellraiser Revelations was heading. The film starts out as some sort of found-footage flick and briefly enters a familiar Hellraiser world, but is quickly shifted into some home-invasion scenario. Lets just say, I was a little confused and lost.


The film opens with two best friends Nico and Steven who apparently hate life, so they head out to Mexico for unknown reasons recording their exploits as they go along. They reach Mexico with the intentions to get as drunk as possible and get laid by the local hookers with for some reason no Mexicans in sight. This mis-adventure in ‘Mexico’ leads to a dead hooker and a flash forward to months later where Steven and Nico are assumed dead and missing.
Steven’s mother soon gets her hands on their belongings from a private investigator who couldn’t find out what happened to them. Soon she finds the video the recorded and witnesses their exploits, where she witnesses Nico with a puzzle box in his hands and suddenly Pinhead is standing in-front of Nico spewing a few lines. It’s here we get our first good look at the “new” Pinhead and it’s just not the same.
After this, Steven’s mother begins to shed tears and quickly shuts the camera off, why the investigator gave the video back and found nothing out is beyond me. Stevens sister Emma finds the box in Stevens room and as you probably guessed begins tinkering with it herself.
Soon the box glows and some weird things happen, suddenly Steven appears behind her and this is where the plot heads elsewhere and the twist and turns begin to appear. It is at this point that the truth behind what happened to Steven and Nico is revealed.
At times I can see where they tried to create something similar to the original Hellraiser but the execution just wasn’t quite there. Fans familiar with the original will notice similar details throughout, however its a little all over the place and I’m confused as to what they are trying to achieve.
Now, if Doug Bradley had returned and if the production had not felt so rushed, this could have been good. Instead, its pretty dire with the exception of some good gore scenes but sadly the ending is left completely wide open no doubt as a setup for another direct to dvd sequel.
If you really want to check this one out, rent it and save yourself some money, but if I was you, I’d just stick to the first two Hellraiser flicks and imagine the sequels didn’t exist. I give Hellraiser: Revelations 4/10, some good practical effects and I could see where they was trying to go, they just lost it somewhere and delivered a tired and rushed flick, which is a shame really considering Gary J. Tunnicliffe’s awesome Hellraiser short No More Souls.